“Hello” by Lionel Richie (The greatest stalker song ever written)

So… I was sitting around with a good friend and we were debating about what the greatest love song ever written is in Soul/R&B. I chose ┬áLuther Vandross’s “House is not a Home”. Simply because I translate the lyrics into “girl I love you so much, please break into my house and wait for me”. Straight flames to me. He named “Hello” by Lionel Richie. I had to let him know that track is a stalker anthem. I mean, maybe if I never saw the video as a kid I wouldn’t think Lionel was such a creep. So I showed him the video, but, he still didn’t get it. So, what I did was start the video over and give him some commentary. Tell him what I see when I see it. So why not share that with you too? Let’s go…

  • 0:15- First off. Lionel is the teacher here. His infatuation is a student. This fact alone is grounds to be wierded out by whatever is gonna happen in this video. And I didn’t mention the mustache yet.
  • 1:07- Lionel retires to a corner seat to sing to her
  • 1:13- Lionel (still sitting in the corner) is observing her rubbing a phallic object.
  • 1:22- Lionel sings the “Hello” part of the hook. I’m put off a little with his creepy “coming out to get you” way of singing that.
  • 1:30- Lionel still in the doorway watches the student way to closely. Look at the extra “up and down” look at 1:32. SMH
  • 1:41- Lionel is on the very left of your screen, watching the student at her locker
  • 1:48- I just get a creepy vibe out of the way Lionel turns the corner here. On top of the fact that he’s following her down the hallway.
  • 2:15- Student is alone at lunch. Your boy Lionel is there and about to walk up to her to touch her on some seemingly Hannibal type shit. A group of students approach and he gets scared off.
  • 2:32- He pops up in her dance class to watch. So, at this point, he’s a teacher who is following a student from class to class.
  • 3:32- Student now at home, posted up late at night, reading a good brail book. Your boy Lionel draped in Sexual Deviant attire (sleeveless dress shirt?) calls her and just sits and breathes before saying something. At 2:53, when he does say Hello, he again says it in a real creeped out way. Look at his face. He then just hangs up.
  • 4:34- Another student comes to tell him that something is going on in ┬áthe art class.
  • 4:56- The student presents a sculpture of Apollo Creed, I guess it’s supposed to be Lionel. You can’t fault her though, she is blind. Apparently she’s been stalking him also. So the moral is that blind people can stalk people too.
  • 5:14- We get one more jumpy “Hello” from Lionel. Why is he doing that?

There you have it. If you’re like me, you’ll feel different the next time you hear this track. Those pianos will sound a little spooky, that bass rift gonna sound like Jason Voorhees is after you. It’s a stalker’s anthem.p